at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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