I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
