Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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(651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a

Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (1109)
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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(954): I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom. http://tfl.nu/1p31

Replies (8) Good night (2701) Bad night (1496)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.

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(330): Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in. http://tfl.nu/l5u1

Replies (8) Good night (3769) Bad night (957)
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(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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(217): You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice. http://tfl.nu/09lg

Replies (4) Good night (3544) Bad night (1229)
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(917): View more from New York City

There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.

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(917): There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit. http://tfl.nu/4wxu

Replies (7) Good night (840) Bad night (2036)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

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(602): You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up. http://tfl.nu/1td0

Replies (4) Good night (2070) Bad night (1432)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

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(731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh

Replies (12) Good night (2700) Bad night (797)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.

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(250): I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me. http://tfl.nu/it3h

Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (784)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?

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(978): do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man? http://tfl.nu/w8vx

Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (457)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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(701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft

Replies (8) Good night (1224) Bad night (600)
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(415): View more from California

I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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(415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo

Replies (6) Good night (1482) Bad night (882)
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(818): View more from California

Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

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(818): Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest. http://tfl.nu/joqb

Replies (9) Good night (1438) Bad night (548)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled

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(910): I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled http://tfl.nu/mvb6

Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (1162)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.

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(201): It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned. http://tfl.nu/85cz

Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (364)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.

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(503): I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman. http://tfl.nu/jygg

Replies (0) Good night (277) Bad night (212)

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