It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.