Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
