He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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