She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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