Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
