Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Everything about him screamed your future.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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