they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
