Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
