True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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