It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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