Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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