once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
