I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think people are normalizing furries
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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