its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
