overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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