I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
