Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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