i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
