This girl is more easily done than said...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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