I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
