STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
