k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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