Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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