ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
