so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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