I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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