you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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