I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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