Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
