so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
