I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
