that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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