so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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