you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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