At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
