People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
