So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
