I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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