first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
