I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
