they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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