People in love make me want to vomit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ttyl tear gas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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