my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
