i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think my mom watched the whole time
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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