Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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