well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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