I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
