DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
