are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
