one two three fourrrrnication!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation