Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (599) Bad night (2716) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?

  (941): View more from Florida

  better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn

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  (615): Why do guys in porn never have boxers on? (941): better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn http://tfl.nu/0wxg
  Replies (28) Good night (6673) Bad night (938)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3290) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?

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  (415): The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/s0dr
  Replies (10) Good night (756) Bad night (3973) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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  (806): Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever. http://tfl.nu/07ur
  Replies (9) Good night (4214) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (16774) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.

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  (713): Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome. http://tfl.nu/qq5z
  Replies (8) Good night (4205) Bad night (1668) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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  (720): I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship" http://tfl.nu/hte5
  Replies (14) Good night (1275) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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  (973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?

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  (978): By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner? http://tfl.nu/55b6
  Replies (4) Good night (1331) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

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  (313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4
  Replies (11) Good night (474) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.

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  (419): She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/zba1
  Replies (9) Good night (2505) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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  (501): So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring http://tfl.nu/8ezz
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt

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