what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
