i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
3 2 1 whiskey
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem