So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize