I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
