now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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