i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just invented taco cereal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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