I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize