textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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