so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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