I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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