come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize