you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
