sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
