My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my being single is dangerous.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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