but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I love you.
Bad choice
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