This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
