So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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