Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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